Introduction to boundary setting concepts:

We often start talking about boundary setting with a big group brainstorm to set the scope of what we’re talking about.  It can be a brief discussion, or more formal with notes taken on a whiteboard / butcher paper and a longer group conversation.  It’s good to have a clear idea how much time you want to allow for this – if you only have 5-10 minutes for it, facilitate it tightly.  Letting the group have a looser discussion can create awesome conversation, but also can easily last upwards of 15-20 minutes and sometimes lead to some lost attention.  Figure out the best ways of facilitating this given your style and the character and needs of your group; if you have a co-facilitator, talk with them in advance about how to assist each other in keeping this rolling and wrapping it up when it’s time.


Ask the group:

“What is a boundary?”


“Who do we set boundaries with?”

Take all kinds of responses for a nice long list, eventually working your way up to “everybody.”


“What makes it hard/easy to set boundaries?”

Power imbalances; differences between setting boundaries with our close people vs with strangers; feeling clear within ourselves vs feeling confused; cultural differences; etc.


“How do we set boundaries?”

Physically, verbally, emotionally… Ask for examples and really break down each category to get at different tools we use.